Men are often reluctant
to talk about their needs in intimate relationships. Whether social
conditioning or an inability to communicate our needs are to blame, men (who
tend to be the less communicative partners in intimate relationships) are prone
to silently suffering when their emotional needs aren’t being met by their
partners. Whether you are a man or a woman reading this article, this will give
you greater clarity into yourself /partner and what your/their needs are in
your intimate relationship. Let’s put an end to the needless fighting due to
miscommunication, the unnecessary s*x-less nights, and the verbal shut-downs.
Read through these tips and I promise you’ll never regret it and without
further ado let’s take a Closer look at our five things men
want in a relationship. as you
1) Praise And Approval
Men have infamously tender egos. We need frequent reassurance
about ourselves, our career paths, our efficacy as partners, our s****l
prowess, and our attractiveness (among other things). I have had countless men
saying that their partners rarely let them know what they like about them.
While it may be true that men need relatively less frequent verbal praise than
their female counterparts, this isn’t the kind of gesture that requires keeping
score. Why not just have more of a good thing? So ladies, let your praise
loose. Tell your man exactly what you find attractive about him. Let him know
what physical features of his are your favourites. Tell him how attractive you
find it when he says something a certain way, when he accomplishes something,
or when he takes you on a date. Your praise won’t make him cocky; it will help
him feel loved. And (bonus) the more you praise his positives, the more you
will see them.
2) Respect
Men feel respect as love. If he feels like you disapprove of him,
his career, or the things that he believes to be integral to who he is as a
person, he will have a hard time trusting and loving you. The thought
process behind that being “If she doesn’t respect who I am at my core, then how
can she really want what is best for me?” If a man’s partner doesn’t respect
his path or mission in life, then he will find it very difficult to feel anything
other than an anxious need to distance himself from her
3) A Sense Of
s****l Connection
Men and women both connect through s*x and communication, but
generally, women connect better through communication and men connect better
through s*x. Does this mean that men need to have s*x with their intimate
partners every day in order to feel connected? Not necessarily. Men, more often
than not, connect through indicators of sexuality just as much as they do
through s*x. Allow me to explain… Often, a man will initiate s*x just to make
sure that you are still sexually available to him. So, to my man-loving readers
out there, if he reaches across the bed for you, even showing the willingness
to embrace him, to kiss him deeply, and to engage him could be enough to make
him feel loved (not that the follow through isn’t enjoyable). This lack of
awareness around women needing to connect through words and men needing to
connect through s*x can sometimes turn into an unfortunate and rapid downward
spiral. She doesn’t feel like opening sexually until she feels connected to
him, but he finds it difficult to communicate with her because they haven’t
been physical with each other in days. Talk with your partner and ask what
specifically helps them feel the most loved so you can avoid these
unintentional standoffs.
4) Emotional Intimacy
From a very young age, men are taught to avoid appearing weak at
all costs. Perceived “weakness” includes things like complaining, divulging
fears or concerns, and expressing self-doubt or worry. A man’s partner is his
safe space to fall. He can expose the cracks in his armour and allow his
partner to help him heal. Just as women need to slowly open up sexually within
a relationship, men open up over time emotionally. He needs to make sure that
when he first cries in front of you, you won’t be repelled or handle it poorly.
If you push him away or are unable to be nurturing when he needs it the most,
he will no longer trust you with his emotions. He will remove himself somewhat
from the relationship. In this instance, both partners lose- he goes on
silently suffering and believing that he is flawed in his imperfection, and she
is held at arm’s length emotionally.
5) Space
Within all of my relationships and the vast majority of my
clients, I consistently see that it is the feminine-associated female partner
that wants more time spent together and the masculine-associated male partner
wanting more time apart. There is no perfect balance to be found here. This
will always be a balancing act of closeness and separateness. But rest assured,
suffocating a man (either by failing to allow him free time or with overly
jealous behaviour) is the fastest way to end a relationship. Men need breathing
room in a relationship. We need time for our hobbies, time with our friends,
and time to toil away on our projects to feel fulfilled. Traditionally, when
women (or the feminine associated partner) needed to solve a problem, they
would go further into the tribe – connecting with close friends and family and
discussing their issues. Conversely, when men have a problem to solve, they
would leave the tribe to be alone with their thoughts. So let him roam. Let him
breathe. Leave him to his own devices. A man will be that much happier for you
to receive him when he returns, knowing that you trust both him and the
strength of your bond enough to let him have his space.
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