A MUST READ STORY

I am at my wits end and the more I think about it, the more I realise I need someone to talk to about it and get a solution. It's a story of almost 10 years. Please, take your time and read.


Thank you all: It all began in 2002 when I gained employment in an organization. And, in the course of duty, I got very close to a guy named Mike. I later got to know we lived in the same area and since he had a car, he was always taking me home.


In 2003, we still shared the closeness and I was beginning to get fond of him. I lost one of my parents and he attended the funeral alongside most of my ogas. It was after the burial he told me he loved me and would want to have a relationship with me. I asked him if he was single and he said yes...I visited his home one day and saw some greeting cards from a certain Nike and when I asked, he said she was his ex. I asked him why he didn't get rid of the cards and he said he just didn't think it was necessary.


On a Sunday morning, I intentionally visited his home cos I knew he would be in church. I interviewed two of his neighbours and they told me he was indeed single. They said he used to have a lady but it's been ages since they saw her and when they asked him, he said they've broken up. I was happy, thanked them and left. We started a relationship in March and I was happy cos I already had feelings for him. After three months, he came to visit my mum and told her of his intentions to marry me. My mum said no wahala and gave him her blessings. I had already told her about him and she knew I was happy with him.


Imagine my surprise when I received a call from a woman in July and she said she wanted to speak with my guy. I asked who she was and she said she was his sister who just came in from Calabar. I was happy and told her I was yet to get to the office, but I will let him know once I arrive the office. I got to the office and excitedly told Mike his sister called me. He was surprised and asked to see the number. When he did, he said, but this is Nike's number (his ex). I said, really? I called the number again and she said I should give Mike the phone. I handed the phone to him and he shouted, why did you call this number? I went to my cubicle and my phone rang again. Nike told me, don't think you have found a husband, Mike is my fiancee and in fact, I am 7 months pregnant for him. I felt as if my world would collapse. I couldn't concentrate and when it was time for us to go home, I told him what Nike said. He said it wasn't true and I told him, true or not, I am going to your house this night. He didn't want me to follow him home, but I was adamant. We got to his house and I saw a heavily pregnant woman.


Immediately he barged into his house, he started beating her. He beat her and rained blows on her tummy. I'm sure if that pregnancy wasn't heavy, she would have lost the pregnancy. After beating her, the woman pounced on me and tore my shirt to shreds. She started shouting, ha Mike, ma ba ti e je, ma wa ti e kan (Mike, I will destroy you). She told me - You, you want to come and reap where you didn't sow? When he was living in a room, I was with him and now that he lives in a room and a parlour, I want to enjoy abi? In my mind I thought, so room and parlour na enjoyment shey? After the drama, I couldn't go home that night cos it was too late. First thing in the morning, they started fighting again and I had to jejely leave for my house.


I got home and my mum wondered why my shirt was torn. I lied to her cos I didn't want her to worry. The third day after the incident, Nike stormed my office, shouting, where is that husband snatcher? Where is Dupe? Husband snatcher oshi? Ashawo, prostitute? Before I knew it, a crowd had gathered and they had to ask her what her problem was. She told them she was Mike's fiancee and I am dragging him with her. My ogas had to tell her to go home and settle with her fiancee and stop disgracing herself in public.


Later in the day, they called Mike and me into the conference room and asked questions. Right before my eyes, Mike told my ogas I knew he had a fiancee and he told me and I insisted I wasn't bothered, that I would be the second wife. I didn't know when I started crying cos I never believed he could lie against me. He also told them I was always enticing him with gifts and money and that was why he decided to date me. I opened my mouth and couldn't utter a word. I just started crying. My ogas who were women shouted at me to stop crying and defend myself. I told my ogas I had nothing to say, but one thing I know is that even if it takes ten years, we are all going to sit down again and Mike would confess he lied against me. With that, I stood up and walked out of the room.


When I arrived home that night, I ate my dinner and when it was 12 midnight, I went outside the house, removed all my clothes, including my pants and bra. I looked up to God and cried. I said, God, you are the father of the fatherless. You know my story with this guy called Mike. You know what others don't know. If it is true I knew about Nike and still insisted on dating Mike, keep quiet about my issue, but if Mike lied against me, I want you to fight for me. I commit Mike, Nike and me into Your hands. With that, I went back inside the house, still crying. Mike later resigned cos my male ogas were really on his case. They told him that if he could say I enticed him with gifts and money, then, he is not fit to be called a man. He had to resign when he could no longer bear the shame. On the other hand, I am still with the organization and that singular case endeared lots of my ogas to me. They really showed me lots of care.


All these happened in 2003. Fast forward to 2013 I received a call and it was from Mike. I was shocked and he told me he decided to call just to say hi. I was surprised to hear from him and I spoke with him warmly. 10 years is a long time to keep grudges I told myself. He asked for my BB pin and I gave him. Once in a while he says hi and I reply.I was surprised when in September last year, he pinged me and told me he needed to speak with me and it wasn't a phone thing. I told him to meet me at an eatery near my house. He came and he wasn't really looking good. He said he came to ask for my forgiveness cos he lied against me and I told him, haba, 10 years and you think I would still carry your matter for head. I told him there was nothing to forgive.

He now said I should bless him and that was when I told him to go back to the office and confess to those same ogas that he lied against me. He said he would never do that. I asked him, how is your wife? Does she know you are here? He said, no and I smiled. I told him, so you want to make amends and still want your wife and my ogas to think I am all you said I was. I laugh. I left him hanging and went home.


In October last year, I celebrated my birthday and one of my ogas, who works in a similar organisation as the one I work with, called to wish me a happy birthday. He said he would like to take me and my friends out for a drink or two at the weekend. I agreed and during the weekend, he took us out. We were eating cat fish pepper soup when his phone rang. I heard him sigh and say, na wah o, what is this again? When he dropped, he started a story about a certain Mike in his office. He said the man is so effective, but seems bad luck keeps following him.


The name Mike caught my fancy and I asked for his surname. Lo and behold, it was the same Mike I dated. I was curious and asked him for more details. He said anytime anything good is about to happen to Mike, something happens and someone else is giving the goodies instead. He said the latest one is the issue of a car he personally approved. He said the oga patapata who is supposed to sign the final approval said he doesn't want Mike to have the car, instead he gave it to someone else who was lower in rank to Mike. He said lots of good things that have evaded Mike. I didn't tell him anything, I just kept quiet.


Mike sent me a mail and sent a text to my phone that I should check my mail. In the mail he said: Dupe, continue to play God over my life. I know I made a mistake, why can't you just forgive me? Why must you insist I go back to that office and confess my mistakes? What's the big deal in forgiving me? We are fasting and praying in my church and one of the prophets that was invited told me to come and apologise to you and that you need to bless me to enable me move forward in life. Before this, I have been having dreams of someone asking me to come and beg you. Please, forgive me, but don't tell me to go back to that office. Let's bury the hatchet once and for all. I know you have challenges and I know you are still unmarried. What if this is because you have refused to bless me? Why don't you forgive and bless me and see if God won't turn your story around?


Now dear readers, this is where I need your advice. God knows I have forgiven Mike, but why can't he just go back to the office and tell my ogas he lied against me 10 years ago? What's the big deal in it? At the same time, I don't want to play God over anyone's life. Am I playing God by insisting he goes back to tell the truth? Could this also be the reason she is still not married?


Please your response will be very helpful.

THE POWER OF ENJOYMENT

Enjoyment adds power and effectiveness to whatever you’re doing. When you’re enjoying life, you’re functioning at your highest level. But what if you must do something that you don’t enjoy? Choose to enjoy yourself anyway. Enjoyment depends more on your attitude than on your surroundings. To enjoy yourself, you don’t need anything other than the will to do so. After all, the outer details of life are not nearly the whole picture. Your inner thoughts are what ultimately control whether or not you’re enjoying yourself. So choose to bring the power of enjoyment to all areas of your life. You’ll be more creative, more pleasant to be around, more positive and more resourceful when you’re enjoying life. Wherever you may find yourself, whatever you may be doing, find some aspect of it to value and appreciate and enjoy. And enjoy what a powerful positive difference it can make.

Lift your thoughts high

You can think whatever you choose, so choose to think highly of yourself. You’re capable of much more than you yet know, so find some more of your unique greatness and bring it to life. While you’re at it, remember to also think highly of others. The way to bring out the best in people is to sincerely expect it. Think highly of life itself. Consider what an amazing opportunity each day represents, and do all you can to live up to its beautiful potential. Think highly of whatever circumstances you find yourself in. Instead of complaining or fearing, use your powerful mind to dig out the best path forward and then use your efforts to follow that path. Think highly of the future. Rather than worrying about what might come, focus your thoughts and your actions on making the very best of what does come. Whenever you think, make the choice to think highly. Lift your thoughts high, and your whole world will be lifted.

MAKING ADJUSTMENTS

Success is never achieved in a straight line. Although it’s great to carefully put together workable, realistic plans, life doesn’t always go according to plan. Yet even when conditions change quickly and dramatically, success is still possible. To succeed in such a world as this, you must be willing to constantly adapt. When something fails to go the way you planned, it’s not the end of the world. In fact, things could eventually turn out to be even better than you planned. Regardless of what happens or fails to happen, you can choose to successfully work it into your path forward. Instead of making judgments about what you cannot control, make adjustments in those things you can control. It might be nice if everything were to play out according to your plan, but the thing is, it won’t. There will most certainly be surprises, so you might as well find a way to make positive use of them. Don’t give up on your goals or dreams just because things change. Adapt, make adjustments, and make every turn of events move you forward.

Ladies, Watch Out! 11 Excuses Nigerian Guys Will Give You For Not Wanting To Wear A Condom!

Ladies, Watch Out! 11 Excuses Nigerian Guys Will Give You For Not Wanting To Wear A Condom! Written by Jessica Booth For some reason, there are a lot of dudes in this world who seem to have a personal vendetta against condoms. I don’t know, I guess they just really like getting girls pregnant and spreading STDs. That’s really the only reason I can think of as to why a guy, or any person for that matter, wouldn’t want to wear a condom during sex. Condoms are completely necessary, especially if you’re having casual sex. We’re all reminded of this all the time, yet guys out there are still constantly making excuses as to why they can’t wear a condom. Honestly, it’s annoying, not to mention repetitive. And no matter which of these excuses you hear, I can almost guarantee that it’s a lie and something you shouldn’t listen to.  So, to warn you, here are 11 excuses guys will give for not wearing a condom. We’re calling BS – and you should too.

 1. I Can't Feel Anything With A Condom On Yes he can. There is even a study that says he's lying. You can absolutely still feel sex with a condom on - and it feels good. Plus, won't it feel better if you know you don't have to worry about stuff? This is probably the most common excuse and also... a lie. Don't fall for it.

2. I'll Pull Out, I Swear LOL OKAY. Hold on a second, I'm laughing too hard to write. Okay, I'm back. First of all, pulling out is not in any way, shape or form a method of birth control. Second of all, have we ever heard of this thing called pre-ejaculate fluid? It's when a tiny amount of semen comes out before the, uh, big finish and it can get you pregnant. Third, pulling out does nothing to protect you against diseases. Lastly, I bet that the majority of the time, he will "forget" to pull out.

3. But I Never Use Condoms And It's Always Been Okay See the expression on this girl's face? That should be what you look like when a guy says this to you. How do you think "I've never used one" is going to convince a girl not to use one? Oh, you've NEVER used one? So you've had unprotected sex with other girls? Okay cool, I'm down with that. SAID NO ONE EVER.

4. I'm Clean, I've Been Tested Do you know for a fact he's been tested? Did he show you results? Did he tell you about his trip to the doctor? When exactly was he tested? Was he with anyone after that? This statement alone is way too vague to be taken seriously. It's easy to lie about this in the heat of a moment... you need to be absolutely sure before you take his word for it. Even then - you can still get pregnant!

5. You're On The Pill, It's Fine Uh, no, it's not. Birth control pills will only protect you against getting pregnant. If this dude has an STD or something, you'll still get it. So, not fine.

6. I Don't Have One Right Now Okay? There's this thing called the drugstore, where you can go and buy condoms almost any time you want! Have you ever heard of it?

7. They ALWAYS Break Anyway Nice try, but no they don't. If you use them right, a condom won't break. I mean, yeah, sometimes it happens, but that's a ridiculous way of looking at anything.

8. I'm Allergic Suuuure you are. Yes, it's completely possible to be allergic to latex condoms, but it's also possible that he's lying because only about 1 percent of the population is. And if he really is allergic? You can be like, "Oh, to latex? Cool, there are other kinds of condoms you can still use, like polyurethane ones." BAM.

9. You Don't Trust Me? Ooooh, this is a sneaky and manipulative one. This guy is trying to guilt you into having sex with him without a condom. Moral of the story? Don't have sex with him at all.

10. Condoms Don't Fit Me Oh honey, no. I promise you that your guy isn't so big that any kind of condom can't fit him. There are these things called Magnums and they're available basically everywhere, so... I'm sure his manhood can handle it.

11. I Haven't Had Sex In SO Long, It's Fine It doesn't matter if he's gone three weeks or three years without having sex - he could still be carrying STDs or STIs. Oh and did I mention that having a dry spell doesn't mean you can't get a girl pregnant? Plus, this is SUCH a line.

LIFE ENERGY

Life energy You don’t need to get more energy. Simply make more meaningful use of the life energy that is already yours. Instead of wasting your precious, powerful energy on negativity, apply it toward living with joy and fulfillment. There is plenty of energy in your life, and you can choose to make positive use of it. Each day brings new opportunities to focus your energy on lifting your world higher. Every turn of events brings you the chance to make good and loving use of your life energy. If you feel continually weary, take that as a cue to seriously reconsider where your energy is focused. To experience more joy and fulfillment, invest your energy in being authentically joyful and positively purposeful. You have the energy to create, to love, to heal and to bring beautiful new meaning to life in each moment. Feel the possibilities that come flowing to you with life’s energy, and enthusiastically follow the best of them. Continue to point your energy in the direction of the beautiful life you have chosen to live. And continue to transform that abundant energy into true fulfillment.